Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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