Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
