ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
