I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
