either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!