wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
