then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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