Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
