She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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