Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
