my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
