All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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