I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize