we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
