It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
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