awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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