I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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