I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
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I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
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It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize