she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
