and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Randomize
