just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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