I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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