My hand turned me down
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
false alarm, still single
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