I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
