No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
