Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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