I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
