There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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