I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
