If that was your dad, he is hot
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
