420 ftw
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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