Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize