We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
