i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
