shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
