Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
