weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
