my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
