Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just had sex on a roof
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
