oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
