matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I am spending my child support on dildos
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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