i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
