so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
What changed your mind?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases