I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...