it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.