Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
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he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
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doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life