Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
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just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
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I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore