Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
