Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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