woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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