Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
