I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
