it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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