I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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