It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize