Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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