she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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