I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
