If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
